My way or the highway, the saying goes. If you do it my way, you’ll be going the wrong way. And going the wrong way on the Internet highway can be a dangerous thing… Oh, and did I mention: I can’t drive.
Over the last few decades I have purchased several personal computers. History has demonstrated that within six months of my using any and all of my brand new PCs it starts. They begin to crash regularly and become sooooo…slooooow – not just in connecting to the Internet but doing anything!
I once had a service technician tell me my computer problems were caused by my body’s electrical system. I believed him. Now I know better.
The one thing you can say about me – if I think something is wrong with my computer, I’m not afraid to try and fix it myself.
But I should be.
What have I taught myself to do? Destroy computers; that’s what. And not on purpose either.
I don’t know how I do it. In fact, if you gave me a new PC right now and told me to break it, I wouldn’t know how. There’s no doubt though, that within a short time I would indeed have your computer malfunctioning; I just wouldn’t know how I had done it. It’s just a weird know-how, a skill.
This is an example of how it happens. I’ll be working on a computer; let’s say in a word processing program. I’m trying to figure out how to make a table. I spend forty or so minutes checking out all the workstation buttons but to no avail. I click the help button. I type in my problem and a whole list of other problems appears. In that instant I probably forget what I’m looking for because the questions the system has listed are very intriguing. I have identified fifteen or more other problems I have that I didn’t know I had!
I click one. I read through it. Perhaps it instructs me to check out a link. Fearless, I click it.
I’m not sure where I am; I don’t recognize the URL. But it looks official. They offer an inexpensive manual that might help me. I complete all the information they ask for – my name, email address, phone number and… Wait a minute! Why do they need my phone number? This is a scam! I back out of the site as well as I can but I think to myself, someone out there knows my name and email address!
And so it begins. A couple of days later, I receive an email from someone I don’t know but the subject has my name in it. It must be important. Why else would they email me? I open it. It’s full of jibberish.
The characteristics that make me such an expert at ruining computers is my innate trust, gullibility, curiosity, and my over-the-top naivete. When a pop-up appears on my screen telling me Angela Lansbury is eight months pregnant, I need to click to read the details. I know going in that the 85+-year-old actress is not pregnant. But what if?
I buy a lot of stuff on line and boy, do I subscribe to a boatload of electronic newsletters and store coupons!
I know by doing all these things I’m exposing my computer to viruses and malware. That I’m infecting my computer. But I have software protecting me from these things, right?
My current PC opens up with an error message. I have searched for the error message on Google and found it, but the solution they offered was beyond my comprehension. Not to worry. I inspect the directory of my hard drive. What are all these files? You know what, I’m going to delete this one; it doesn’t look right. I think I’ve fixed it. I reboot. Now I have TWO error messages when I login!
Through trial and error, I can wreak havoc on any computer I encounter. I’m that good.
I once thought that my computer problems were caused by my body’s electrical system. It’s not an inborn talent either. I’ve taught myself how to destroy computers all by myself. It’s a skill I’ve mastered over the course of 30 years.
Tell me, do you need a computer compromised? Call me. ✿
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