Running on Empty

Where the hell is the finish line?! Are we even close?

The Bee

I had to maintain a certain level of decorum in dealing with this bee. I was at a funeral after all.

Resurrection vs. Reincarnation

I remember turning my cart toward her, with the intent of approaching her and saying hello when I suddenly remembered that Becky had died.

The Psychedelic Underpants

I am fourteen, remember. The youngest of the group. Trying to fit in. And now I am absolutely mortified.

The One-Eyed Pilot

She answered that it was legal as long as the one-eyed pilot had a co-pilot.

Fore! Heaven’s Sake

We drive twenty minutes to get to the club with nary a mention by anyone of the green blob.

Where’s My Phone?

“I hear a beeping,” he says. What’s that supposed to mean? Is he schizophrenic, hearing noises that aren’t there? I’ve apparently approached the wrong stranger for help.

Heel Dog! Part III

I pull on the cord and it comes whipping up to me…without a pronged plug at the end.

Heel, Dog! Part II

I am airborne for a few seconds and then find myself lying spread eagle on my belly, atop the cement driveway. Too late, I let go of the leash.

Heel, Dog!

I’m upstairs when I hear the loud cursing from the first floor living room. Uh oh.