Gulp. I was mortified. So guilt-ridden that I hung up without saying my punch line, “Well then, you better go catch it!”
So Long, Old Phones
Running on Empty
Where the hell is the finish line?! Are we even close?
The Bee
I had to maintain a certain level of decorum in dealing with this bee. I was at a funeral after all.
Resurrection vs. Reincarnation
I remember turning my cart toward her, with the intent of approaching her and saying hello when I suddenly remembered that Becky had died.
The Psychedelic Underpants
I am fourteen, remember. The youngest of the group. Trying to fit in. And now I am absolutely mortified.
The One-Eyed Pilot
She answered that it was legal as long as the one-eyed pilot had a co-pilot.
Fore! Heaven’s Sake
We drive twenty minutes to get to the club with nary a mention by anyone of the green blob.
Where’s My Phone?
“I hear a beeping,” he says. What’s that supposed to mean? Is he schizophrenic, hearing noises that aren’t there? I’ve apparently approached the wrong stranger for help.
Heel Dog! Part III
I pull on the cord and it comes whipping up to me…without a pronged plug at the end.
Heel, Dog! Part II
I am airborne for a few seconds and then find myself lying spread eagle on my belly, atop the cement driveway. Too late, I let go of the leash.